Navigation Life

"Breathing out, it is a wonderful moment." ~Thich Nhat Hanh

2011-10-25T06:52:00.000-07:00

Autumn is a time to nourish your body with warm and grounding practices, get introspective and celebrate joy, clarity, and creativity. We enter a season of sharing and giving while counting our blessings of health and community.

Here are a few tips for staying grounded and focused to balance out the change happening around us during this season.

Begin your day with meditation. Deepening the awareness of your breath and checking into your internal nature will help you know what your body, mind and soul are in need of.
Incorporate a new grooming practice such as netti pot, dry brushing or oil pulling. These are natural ways to boost your immune system during cold and flu season.
Treat yourself. As the holidays approach, plan for healthy treats and have plenty around to share. Stock up on nuts and dried fruit and make soup for your friends.
Enjoy a yoga class each week and regular, relaxing and peaceful walks in Nature to calm the mobile body and active mind. Other great activities include gardening, creating art and music and journaling. Be sure to follow all activities with a sufficient rest period.

The Spa at Creekside is preparing for the season by creating the perfect holistic wellness treatments for you, our clients. During the Fall season, it’s beneficial to balance out the cooling and airy seasonal changes with warming and nourishing remedies and practices. Austin just endured the hottest summer yet and as your practitioners and therapists, we look forward to ushering in the cooler temperatures by supporting our clients with services to meet your changing needs.

Rochelle Poulson, LMT balances out the treatment and TLC for a personalized and unforgettable massage experience.
Jeanne Hicks provides acupuncture and facials. Jeanne’s healing hands will help you look and feel your best this holiday season!
Reagan Bryant provides fantastic skin care and guides you to selecting the perfect products to extend your treatments at home.
For sale are gift certificates, herbal remedies, facial products and gift baskets.
Let us help you in your life’s celebrations with spa parties, couples massage, wedding wellness packages and pregnancy massage.

Come cozy up with us this season… we look forward to working with you!

One oar stroke at a time...

2011-06-13T18:35:00.000-07:00

In my post cancer life, I have been working on recognizing my fears and learning to face them and even move past them. Many of my fears are based on the "unknown" or have been created by stories I've told myself. One of my facebook friends defined fear as feedback. I love that we can use fear as a mechanism for questioning reality, ourselves and our beliefs and make adjustments according to the honest answers we find within. It's just another emotion that we can choose our reaction to. I look back at what I have been through in my life and realize that I have overcome most of my "fear" by reactions and making the choices when it comes up. Fear can guide us somewhere amazing and make us stronger if recognized for what it really is. I know when I don't run from it, I learn from it. We don't really know what we are capable of until it happens to us... or make the choice to happen to it.

Back in 2008 I learned of an adventurer named Roz Savage. Her bravery and grace inspire me to be a stronger person. I listened to her blogs as she rowed her way across the pacific ocean. Each leg of her row was in sync with these big challenges I was facing in my own life. One of which was my cancer treatment. I remember thinking that rowing an ocean is much scarier than what I was going through. I continue to learn from Roz many things... but the most important is that just because our course in life changes, our goals and missions don't have to. This woman does what she sets out to do and does it one oar stroke at a time. Which I truly believe is a great way to conquer fear and come into alignment with our truest self!

Once again, we have gathered footage that didn't make it into the movie Cancerpants. Nevie Owens put together this great video of a trip to Dallas last year to meet ROZ SAVAGE in person. It shows how awesome Roz is and by the look on my face how much she inspires me. We had a great time and I hope to bring her to Austin someday so she can share her unique spirit with our community. Her environmental message is powerful and her experience is rich!

Getting diagnosed with cancer and going through treatment gave me plenty of fear conquering opportunities. Fear can't scare me! My goal is to use it as a tool when facing challenges in my life. Cause like I have said before, "this isn't the hardest thing I will ever do".

To learn more about the amazing ROZ SAVAGE please visit her website and read her book.

Healing through Community

2011-05-17T21:12:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to be back on my blog space sharing my journey. It has been over 18 months since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A lot has happened since then. I am now cancer free and the story of this journey has been told in a documentary movie, Cancerpants and will be released this fall. I now have a whole new family of other breast cancer survivors, business owners, a yoga community and many others who have become apart of my life and graced my healing path.
I would like the continuation of my blog NAVIGATION LIFE to be an informative, heart opening, healing space that highlights the areas of my life where I find JOY, HEALTH and BALANCE! Every month, I will release a new blog highlighting the inspiration and continued healing in my life.

This Sunday May 22, some dear friends, with the help of our community will pull together to have a benefit for a friend of ours who recently went through cancer. These same friends had a similar benefit for me. Here is a video from the first BOOBAPOLOOZA. It was an amazing day I will never forget. There was so much love in the room, I could feel my body healing and the cancer melting away! What a gift from an amazing community and loving friends.

When I had my head shaving, I made a promise to help others and give back to my community. Little did I know, it would strike so close to home so soon and to someone that had helped me with my own journey. Ginger was diagnosed with breast cancer in February of this year and it has been awesome to see her heal so quickly and take on life with her usual passion and sass! I know she is going to be okay. I sat down with Ginger Leigh to talk about Boobapolooza 2, the power of community and our initial feelings after diagnosis...take a look!

Please join us this Sunday MAY 22 from 12-6pm at the SAXON PUB for BOOBAPOLOOZA 2

Community heals. Love builds up. When hard things happen to us we get to be there for each other and learn from one another. My community is just one example of the good can come from struggle... such an amazing, strong group of people who know about love and living life to the fullest. Being brave does not mean going through it alone or in silence... it means finding a personal way to share your story, reaching out and letting others help you and then giving back when you can.
Thank you community for your love, for your talent, joy, laughter, tears and continued spirit. I hope we can extend this love to everyone who needs it.

with an open heart,
RO (Cancer "free" Pants)

Learning, Breathing... Loving Life

2011-01-21T12:20:00.000-08:00

Me and my beautiful Mom getting to Galveston to board ship!

Roatan, Honduras from our stateroom!

It has been a while since I have updated my blog. I took a little break as I found my 'new normal' and settled back into practice. I would sit down to write and not really know what to say at times. Cancer was a roller coaster and I could not have beat it (yes, I am cancer free) without your love and support. It is a new and healthier year for us all and I look forward to seeing your shining happy faces as our paths cross and we move through our journeys.

I just returned from a wonderful "study aboard" trip. I took a medical massage training course on a cruise ship through LMT Success Group. I also took my wonderful mom with me. It was a blast being with her and spending quality uninterrupted time talking and getting to connect while having fun, relaxing and seeing the sights in three different ports. I went to 2 new countries I have never been and learned a lot.

The medical massage course I took is the first tier of classes for my certification. I learned and re-learned very valuable massage techniques that are going to both help my clients and my longevity as a therapist. One of the classes was on Insurance Billing. I look forward to opening my practice to new clients with prescriptions for massage and embarking on a new path in my work.

I am working full time now and have evening hours as well. Click the SCHEDULE NOW BUTTON to see available times.

Here are my current office hours:

Monday 5-9pm

Tuesday 5-9pm

Thursday 12-7

Friday 11-6

Saturday 9-4

I rely heavily on word of mouth marketing for my massage practice. I love new clients and if you know someone that needs a massage, send them to me. If you both book a massage in February, you will each receive a $14 discount on your service. Refer as many friends as you like for $14 each! You share the love, I show the love! Tell your friends to let me know who sent them. Thanks in advance for helping my practice to grow.

This year I am holding workshops one Sunday a month until May. The series is called discovering the Body's Wisdom. In these workshops we will touch on ways we can communicate with our own bodies to decrease stress and increase wellness. Each workshop will include a one hour yoga practice, discussion and a light lunch. Each workshop is 25.00 and they will be held at my office. The space is limited to 8 participants.

The Spa at Creekside is Jeanne Hicks, Acupuncturist/Aesthetics and Rochelle Poulson, LMT. We have been cooking up some great treatments and spa packages and would love to have you include us in your special events. Chair massage or mini spa days are a great addition to baby and wedding showers, birthdays, and anniversaries. Please Call 512.470.4387 to schedule.

In Gratitude and Wellness,

river story

2010-11-15T13:47:00.000-08:00

the heron sits very still at waters silent edge
one sturdy leg makes no ripple
submerged
waiting is a chore for others
fish swim by
all is provided
the sun rises and sets with the tides of a patient heart

Recharge

2010-09-27T06:58:00.001-07:00

Good Morning!

Fall weather is officially here. Here in Austin that means we can finally come outside to play. My running season officially started yesterday at the Austin Marathon Relay. I love living in a city that has to shut down it’s streets almost every Sunday morning for event races that raise money for charity. It feels good to get out and be apart of building community and promoting healthy lifestyles! If you have never participated in one… I encourage you to find what you are good at like walking, biking, running and go for it! It’s fun and feels good inside and out.

I have been telling many of you about my Recharge Massage. It is a 30 min session that includes massage and a moisturizing hot towel foot treatment. It is a great way to unwind from the day, or get ready for a relaxing weekend, cure a nagging headache or just treat yourself to something special.

I am offering this special for only 20.00 until the end of the year. You can book as many as you would like for yourself or also buy a gift certificate for someone you love for the holiday season. Click the schedule now button to book yours now.

Cancerpants is the name of the documentary movie that is being made about my journey with breast cancer. Nevie Owens is an amazing film maker and we want this project to get out to as many people as possible to raise awareness of this epidemic that is taking the lives of our family and friends. In order to make the movie the amazing work of art we want it to be, we are raising funds to help with production… AND you can have your own copy of Cancerpants by helping us out. Become a Backer on Kickstarter now with 20.00 or more by oct 15th and we will send you your own copy. I will even sign it!

Okay… enough shameless promotion. I just want you all to be happy and healthy and IN THE MOMENT!!! See you in your sweaters soon!

Have a beautiful week!

Rochelle

Kickstarting my "New Normal"

2010-09-23T15:55:00.000-07:00

It's 12:01 while I am writing this. It is my one year cancerversary. My body still works (minus a few hormonal issues)... my mind is as clear and focused as it has ever been... my heart is open... my spirit is strong and brave and I am surrounded by loving, talented beautiful friends and family.
Things are going well. There have been a few bumps in the road adjusting to "normal" life again. Since I finished treatment, I have felt a some depression and a little fatigue from time to time. I realize I have been on auto pilot to get through some of the tougher moments... and now I have time to process it all. To sit back and look at what has happened and also to look forward and contemplate what is to come.
At times, I get worried about getting cancer again. I plan out in my head and also in conversations how I would handle it and what kind of treatment I would have... blah blah blah. But really, there is no planning for things like cancer. It happens. You do the best you can and hopefully you keep on living for as long as you can. So, after the natural worries and wonderings... I take a deeeep breath and return to a positive vibration. I have learned that faith and a positive attitude are the foundation to my health and sanity.
I was able to spend some time with an amazing woman, Roz Savage. I met her via her blog 3 years ago. Roz is an ocean rower and an eco warrior... raising awareness with a message and campaign for every row she does. I noticed how positive she was and easy going. Her authenticity was so refreshing.
Being around her reminded me that so many things are possible. Even when you don't have a serious illness, like cancer... it is still important to choose LIFE. To make each day what I want it to be by following my heart.
So, what is next? Well, I made a promise that I would use my experience with breast cancer to help others, so I am working on helping my friend Nevie, an amazing film maker promote the soon to be completed documentary, CANCERPANTS. This movie when complete will be a tool to help educate other cancer patients about the experience of cancer treatment and tell the story of how my amazing friends and family rallied together to help me move through this experience. I am hoping that it will be a way to help raise money for organizations helping cancer patients and also raise awareness of this prevalent disease.
I am back to work full time massaging and dreaming up new ways to be apart of the healing community. Having to cut back on my work was a confirmation to me that I am truly in the right line of work... even though it doesn't feel like work. All I wanted some days was to be strong enough to take clients. It feels good to be back and staying in touch with my clients. They bring me so much joy.
As far as treatment for cancer goes, I am only taking tamoxifen now. I am getting some Lymphatic massage to treat some minor lymphedema but otherwise I am healthy and well. Sometimes scared, sometimes gleeful, sometimes too busy but ALWAYS thriving and surviving.

Thank you to everyone backing Cancerpants on Kickstarter!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1559662955/cancerpants-at-the-crossroads-of-life-and-breast-c
Please consider pre-ordering your copy of the documentary by going to kickstarter and backing with 20.00 THANK YOU!
My goal is to blog more often... so chat with all you roboobians soon. xo
RO

Cancerpants

2010-09-06T14:28:00.000-07:00

So excited to have this trailer for people to watch! I am writing a new blog post for this week.... stay tuned. LIFE KEEPS MOVING and it's ALL SO GOOD! Much love and healing and good energy to all!

What to do with all that Carrot PULP??

2010-06-22T18:08:00.000-07:00

Hello Roboobians!
Just got done juicing a bunch of carrots this week and we fed our chickens some of the pulp and will make gluten free muffins with the rest using the fabulous mix by BONA DEA.
I know a lot has happened since I blogged last and I have been saving some fun stories to share with you! Life for me has been a roller coaster of emotion and I couldn't really seem to put it into words until now.
Let's see... I last left you after my wonderful trip to South Padre and an amazing birthday party here at the Twinplex... good times. That takes us right up to my next big adventure... RADIATION!

But first, I would like to talk about how I am doing with my surgery. I had a double mastectomy on March 16th. Both breasts were removed. All breast tissue and nipples, but no muscles or additional lymph nodes were messed with...so that was good! I had some drain tubes in for a week and once they were out, things felt great. The scars are beautiful and just like I imagined them looking. The skin still has to get worked into the chest wall and that will take time... but, the scars look great and healthy. I love not having breasts and so happy that I made this choice, that my surgeon was so understanding and did such a great job.

Radiation was the one treatment that I thought (after reading my last blog) was going to be a walk in the park. It wasn't. The first few weeks were tolerable but after the 4th and 5th weeks my skin started burning pretty bad since they had to pull the radiation up into my skin. Now, it seems like it never happened sitting here with healed up skin... but it was one of the hardest parts of all my treatments. Texas Oncology has amazing staff! My radiation therapists were the best. Jill and Lindsay held my hand while I cried and they laughed with me and ate my eggs. I went everyday to see them, to here there stories and to be supported in my journey...radiation was only part of the treatment, I miss them often!

a pic of my radiation burns

Another thing I did while getting radiation was model for the Breast Cancer Resource Center of Austin's Graphic Art Bra Calender and the runway show Graphic 4. Amazing experience.. here is a pic of my friend Sarah and I in our self created Art Bras! Her bra entitled my support system was made with cards of support given to her when she received her 2nd diagnosis. She is an inspiration to me and a pretty cool and crafty woman all around. My bra was entitled Metamorphosis and was inspired by my journey with the modern medical world. It is made from artisan died medical gauze.

I really love being involved with the Pink Ribbon Cowgirls! Knowing and coming to Love these amazing women help me to understand my own journey with breast cancer better.

Soon after Radiation my skin healed up and I headed to the Maya Riviera with my LOL's (ladies of leisure). We stayed in an amazing house right on the beach and played the days away for an entire week! It was bliss. I have never had a vacation like it and hope to have them more often in my life! Mexico is so beautiful. The pictures speak louder than words.

from the roof of our Villa

long romantic walks on the beach

so true so true

We had a great appointment with Dr. Hellerstedt before we went to Mexico and she gave me a script for my newest treatment. It is a therapy called tamoxifen. An oral pill taken daily that blocks my hungry cancer cells from any estrogen in my body. I decided to get started on this after my vacation so I took my new prescription to Live Oak Pharmacy and started last Thursday. Gradually each day I got tired and headaches and started feeling not my self. Emotions were running high and I was feeling defeated inside for the first time in months. Obviously I can't live my life this way. It all culminated in a sleepless night last night and I went to Texas Oncology to get some fluids and talk about how to get the Tamoxifen figured out. We have a new plan to start the pills at a lower dose and work up to a full dose and see if that helps with the side effects.

I HAD cancer and now I have LIFE.
every. single. moment.
Some are sweet and others are bitter.
I am all in.

love,

Radio Ro

2010-04-13T06:24:00.000-07:00

a jaguar getting a goat milk spray treat at Houston zoo

April 12th I started radiation therapy. I laid in my mold on a cold table for an hour, had a bunch of x rays taken and then after they got all the settings an adjustment just right, they zapped me. Tomorrow I go back for another zapping and then every day (for about 15 min) Monday through Friday for 33 times total. Along with the radiation I am taking an oral chemotherapy type drug on the days of radiation to boost the effectiveness of the radiation. Sounds like it also boosts the side effects as well. Lovely. Bring it.
I got really nervous this evening when I took the pill. Maybe it is the fear I will feel crappy again. The last few weeks have been full of exercise, relaxing and generally feeling fantastic physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Had a great couple of days in South Padre with good friends laughing and chillaxin'. Now it is time to hunker down again and get ready for another round of treatment.
I have been feeling frightened the last few days about how all this new stuff will effect me. Will I be sick again? Will the radiation hit my heart? Will it give me cancer somewhere else? Will it work? None of these things are controllable by me right now, accept for how I react to the answers and my how I handle my fear. This is my power...recognizing fear and being with it long enough to figure out what it really means and how to use it to my advantage. It is okay to be frightened because I know why that fear is there. I am choosing to use that fear as a way to grow and have more courage to understand myself in a deeper way. Lately fear has been a topic popping up in all kinds of places for me and others around me. My hope is that we learn together as we navigate the unknown and fearful parts of our hearts, minds and souls... that we commit to being here for one another and holding a space for each other as we build our foundations of bravery and self-knowing.

Each challenge is placed before us to make us stronger. We can put up a wall around our fears and let them block out the joy or we can take a closer look at them and open the doors of understanding ourselves and others better. My belief and experience is that when we do this, the challenges we face become blessings instead of burdens.

These next 6 weeks while I am conquering the fears associated with my treatment, I hope that all of you, my loved ones, are able to look at some fear that might be hanging around waiting to help you grow. If you want to, share it with me some experience about conquering fear on facebook or here or in an email. I would love to be inspired learn by your experiences. Just an idea!

Thank you for being on my journey of LIFE with me.

love,
Ro

"I've gotten free of that ignorant fist that was pinching and twisting my secret self. The universe and the light of the stars come through me. I am the cresent moon, put up over the gate to the festival"
~RUMI

amazing weekend

2010-03-22T06:22:00.000-07:00

The equinox was good to me this year! I celebrated my birthday surrounded by love, laughter, health and joy. I had a great luncheon with the Pink Ribbon Cowgirls Friday afternoon. This group has been such a great source of comfort for me as I have navigated my cancer journey.Friday night was Patrice Pike Band show at the Saxon. It was great to see her band and hear the sweet new music they are making these days! My sweet and amazing friends pooled together some funds and got me a gift of health and fitness at one of the leading gyms in Austin, Castle Hill Fitness. I am looking forward to setting up a membership with them and getting my new (cancer free) body back in shape! After the last six months of all the very effective medical treatment, I am ready to kick good ol' natural medicine into high gear. Plus, I have marathons to run!
Saturday was the Vernal Equinox and for me it was a full day of resting on the couch with Julie! That is what spring break is about, right? I don't usually let myself chill out like that and it was nice to just be lazy! Saturday night we celebrated with some friends the awaited arrival of their 2nd baby! It was great to reconnect with some good people and also connect with new friends.
Sunday evening some beautiful people came by for our annual garden party/bday party. It was a great night of singing and being in the moment! I had so much fun enjoying the energy of the people I love.
My health and energy are GREAT! I am healing up wonderfully from my surgery. I go get my drains out on Tuesday. It will be great to get these lil ball and chains off my body! I plan on returning to work sometime around the 20th or so of April. I will be easing into things by doing a 30 minute Spring Recharge Special for only 29.00! Book your appointment now!
Here are some fun happy pics!

In the moment,
RO

the new fence around the garden beds

Glenn and Ro

I think we look like brothers here. cute

friends gather at twin plex farm

Jackson, Jeanette and Crosby by the COOP

2nd annual chick poo bingo!

cancer free

2010-03-18T21:19:00.001-07:00

On the eve of my 37th birthday I would like to announce that I am cancer free. It feels fantastic and makes this crazy journey I have been on worth it. I did 18 weeks of Chemotherapy, a lumpectomy and lymph node removal and on Monday, a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction. I don’t even know what to think about all of that. It isn’t what I had planned for the last 6 months. I thought I might have been pregnant by now or at least trying, but I am simply happy to have my own life and grateful for all I have learned and have yet to learn.

I will celebrate my life in the deepest and most simple way tomorrow. I have so much gratitude for all the love that has been given to me to help me heal and get though the hard times. I look forward to sharing all that love and strength with others this year. Here’s to hope, peace, health, spring, love, friendship and being cancer free.

love,

Here are some great pics of my hospital stays and the awesome friends and family who kept me positive and laughing through it all! Thanks for being there for me all of you near and far. xo

great pic of some cute girls at the austin marathon on Feb 14th

My Brave Strong Heart

2010-02-27T09:25:00.001-08:00

Watch out world... my heart is bursting at the seams. No, I won't wear it on my sleeve! I will shine it from the place it beats and it will continue to guide me through this life and beyond. Open Heart. Fearless Heart. Shine on my brave, strong heart!

Can you hear the sound of joy and laughter leaping from my chest and mouth. It’s corners turned up and lips alive and moving singing… “I… charge… laughing” and “Nothing can take my love away”. This is my story. I can’t hide behind fear anymore.

Green is the color of my heart and the energy is bursting forth from my fertile chest cavity. I wait for what comes next. Freedom? Abundance? Greif? Relief? Waves of healing and feeling and meaning. I am alive to let the waves wash over me and change my world.

My brave strong heart.

EXTRA EXTRA

2010-02-20T06:41:00.001-08:00

READ ALL ABOUT IT!!

Lumpectomy an apparent success for the Queen of Roboobia at the wonderful Methodist hospital in Houston, TX. Followed by her entourage throughout every step of the day, the smiling and hopeful Ro was cared for and loved on by talented caring staff and amazing friends and family.

The doctors (KT and Laura) at 1602 opened their home to the Cancerpants entourage arrival on Thursday and have been reportedly amazing hosts and wonderful friends during the last few months.

Momma Norma was in the house providing comfort and help and Julie was right by Ro’s side all night long taking care of the big and small needs that come with being laid up and hooked up. It is reported she may be getting partner of the year award.

Cancerpants Productions (Amy Fletcher and Nevie Owens) was escorted by the lovely Erin from Methodist’s public relations department and Nevie was able to get some amazing footage for the documentary film being made about Rochelle’s journey through breast cancer.

Jeanette aka Bestie was communications liaison, updating Roboobians near and far of Rochelle’s status and of course lovin on Ro and Julie. Cristela the Amazon Warrior brought her sweet love and gentle presence while lil’ Lindsey brought her amazing loving smile and of course Pouting Panda!

Sarah B was in the house following surgery and brought a garden of flowers and a burst of light and energy. She had referred a wonderful anesthesiologist who is a family friend, Parry Lauzon who was reported by Ro to be “simply amazing”. Dr. Bass performed what she believes to be a successful surgery. Ro was encouraged by her big smiles and positive energy.

Various goddess spirits from the other side were in attendance; grandma Irene, Carolyn, Carlene, Kimberly and many others to provide peace and protection to everyone.

More to come regarding clear margins and random panda activity, soon.

leaving for Houston

2010-02-17T21:55:00.001-08:00

to get surgery.
amazed
believing
calm
done
examined
forging
goddess
hopeful
incision
journey
kaleidoscope
loved
meaning
nodes
operation
possibility
questions
raw
soft
teamwork
unknown
vulnerable
water
x-ray
zero… cancer cells

love,
ro

the only thing I can control is myself

2010-02-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

I think about all the things I have been most upset about in my life... break ups, money issues, who got elected president, injustice, failed tests... stuff I have been able to do something about... communicate, save, vote, fight, study.... makes sense to me. This is why I can't get too upset about cancer. There is nothing I can do to prevent it from happening. I didn't do anything stupid to make my cells rebel into cancer. I didn't ask for this, but I got it anyway. So, am I upset about it? Do I stay up late wondering if I am going to die from it? Am I angry at all the chemical companies and people who smoke cigarettes? Do I curse my genetic code or wonder WHY ME?

No. I don't.

The only thing I have to work with here is my reaction and my behavior. It isn't going to do any good to freak out and get pissed off. Sure I went through a lot with Chemotherapy and surgery isn't gonna be a walk in the park. I guess I may wonder if it will come back, but probably not too often. Spending my time being upset about this will only keep me from understanding myself more and from understanding the world better. This really is the only tool I really have in my journey with cancer. No one will ever benefit from a bitter, angry, hard hearted woman choosing to blame all her "problems" on a disease... no one, especially me.

I have so much less tolerance these days for the drama that comes from being in a victim space. For the first time in my life, I see where I really need to grow. It is clear to me now that how I choose to use my energy can change my life and the life of others. I feel comfortable taking responsibility for my behavior and welcome the challenge and growth that comes from being honest with myself and others. Cancer has been a fast track to feeling extraordinary by making me look at my ordinary self and accept what is real.

Real is the fact that one in eight women will deal with this in there life and I am one of the lucky ones because I have a great support system with everything I need to heal. Real is that when we have less chaos on our planet and in our daily lives... we might have less in the cells of our bodies.
Until that time, I will start working on the chaos in my life... cancer does not need to be the cause of more drama.. it is, for me, the eliminator.

love and happiness,
Ro

photo is a painting made by the brilliant Bonny Holder

my last round celebration

2010-01-29T09:50:00.001-08:00

My awesome friends threw me a surprise party in the garage of Texas Oncology! I wasn’t expecting it at all. Julie put it all together along with the help of my amazing friends. It was really sweet. I had just had my fluids and was feeling good so I was able to really enjoy it. Here are some highlights!

The scoreboard cake shows that WE WON at thanks to the help of chemo! Now onto surgery! For the final score….

The best Chemo Nurse I could have asked for. The whole staff at Texas Oncology is amazing and full of love for what they do!

yep, I had a lil bit of champagne to celebrate. it was tasty! The queen of Roboobia agrees with this party and cheers to her dear friends.

the CROWD toast! We know how to kick cancer’s ass with Class!

hummingbirds are strong! thanks Even for remembering.

Writing farewell messages to cancer cells on green balloons. I made sure they were all positive messages. I am learning a lot from this journey and would not give this back… but so happy I am on my way to feeling better.

Setting the balloons free with my sweet Julie. We have learned from you cancer and now you may exit this earth…

I am so blessed with beautiful, talented. powerful women in my life! Thank you for being there! And thank you for loving me.

And last but not least… thank you to this beautiful woman, Julianne Kathryn Nielson… who is my partner in Life. I love you sweetie. Thanks for all the planning and loving you do for me. You are the bestest of all. xoxoxo

That is Claire’s cute lil dog Bella. She fits right in with all the other beauties in this group. xo welcome BELLA BLUE.

It was a great party! There are lots more pics on Facebook if you are on there… now I must go get my rest on and heal from this last chemo. I have to get my strength up for my surgery on the 19th. I am sure there will be lots of lovely pics and stories to tell from the next part of this journey.

love, peace and health to you all.

no more chemo

2010-01-28T05:21:00.001-08:00

'>hummingbird henna

"In Native American culture, a hummingbird symbolizes timeless joy and the Nectar of Life. It's a symbol for accomplishing that which seems impossible and will teach you how to find the miracle of joyful living from your own life circumstances."

Thank you Annie, for sharing this information about hummingbirds. I felt so strong yesterday and ready to fully embrace joyful living… this experience is teaching me so much.

It was great to be surrounded with good friends and loved ones and angels yesterday, as took one last round of this crazy stuff into my body. The nurses and staff at Texas Oncology are amazing. I am so cared for and loved. I hope to be able to give back as much as I have been given.

love,

Round 6

2010-01-26T15:16:00.001-08:00

Here I am nearing the finish line of chemotherapy. What a ride this has been. A mind, body and spirit overhaul, really. Becoming raw and undone in order to rid my body of the unorganized and damaging cells rapidly growing. I am so glad it is almost over, cause it isn’t fun. But it may have done a number on my cancer. I sometimes freak out and wonder what it may have done to me in the process, but I try to stay in the moment.

I chose a surgeon. She is at Methodist Hospital in Houston, Texas. It is schedule for February 19th. I have chosen breast conserving therapy and will have a lumpectomy. If we can’t get clear margins, we will go from there… but I have chosen to take each step as it comes.

I am excited about spring coming. Warm sun and little buds on the trees. Julie keeps telling me that this spring I will emerge from all of this cancer stuff reborn like a new sapling. I feel like I am in a state of renewal… ridding my body of cancer cells and anything else that isn’t good for me. The reality being that I am full of chemicals and losing muscle mass and energy and immunity. The mind games get me from point A to B and keep me positive as well. I’ve always believed in the power of positive thinking and visualization, but have never known it the way I do now. It has been key in not only surviving but sometimes enjoying the last few months.

When I was about 7 or 8 I visited my grandmother, Irene at her home in Olympia, Washington. We would sit and watch the hummingbird’s, garden and daily visit with nature. Gramma Rene loves birds and flowers and shared that love with me. I am grateful that she took the time to teach me about the things she loved and for the love she gave me. I know she was proud of me and always accepted me… even when she didn’t agree with my life style. She now is dying of congestive heart failure. She lived a wonderful life living all over the world and did amazing things. I will miss her a lot. My grandpa is waiting for her. That makes my heart happy. I wish for her a peaceful and honorable passing. I love you, Irene.

Well, here goes one more round.

Love, health and happiness~

Contemplating the Next Steps

2010-01-05T18:07:00.001-08:00

Now that I am nearly finished with Chemo (2 more treatments…YAY), time to think about the next part of the journey. I have been told that I will need some kind of surgery so I have been in the process of finding out what my options are and what to do with them. One big important decision is who will be doing the work. I have an appointment on January 18th with the surgeon, Dr. Nelson who did the biopsy and port placement. I am also going to go down to Houston and meet with a surgeon referred by a good friend. That will hopefully be the 25th or 26th. My oncologist wants me to have surgery about 3-4 weeks after my last chemo treatment. I am going to try to get as much time as I safely can so I can get my body, mind and spirit as strong as I can. As much recovery from chemo that I can get will be important for me so that I have the health and strength I need to heal up nicely from surgery.

Here are the websites I have been looking at

breastfree.org

breastcancer.org

breast cancer resource center of austin

And now some pictures…

chatting away at a holiday party my mom and I had

my beautiful nefews!!!

Thank you everyone for your love and your support. This journey is so beautiful with all of you on it. I am getting through this one day, one hour, one minute at a time.

Rochelle

Hot Flash Dance

2009-12-11T08:35:00.001-08:00

I hate to be complaining… but Hot Flashes are no fun. One of the many interesting side effects of chemo is having your ovaries shut down, which in turn stops your body from producing estrogen with then puts this 36 yr old into CHEMO-PAUSE. I was up all night last night having one hot flash after another every 45 min to an hour. I now have so much empathy for women who are for what ever reason having to deal with estrogen deficiency. It can make a girl a bit crazy. At one point in the night, I turned around and slept with my feet on my pillow thinking that might make them stop. Now in the daylight I sit laughing at myself and my sweaty, bald head tossing and turning. AHHH chemo.
Wednesday I went in for a mid chemotherapy breast MRI. I love getting MRI’s. The rhythmic banging and vibrations put me into a trance and remind me of being around a fire in a drum circle. I just took the 45 minutes to lay there and meditate. While I was checking out, I did check in to remind myself that meditation is really important and I need to do more of it more often. :)
The results weren’t miraculous but good. The cancer in my breast is still there and has not gotten any larger. So, as much as I wanted them to come back saying that it was half gone, they didn’t . I will know more details when I talk to the oncologist on Wednesday.
This last chemo round was hard, of course. It is always hard. The silver lining was that I didn’t throw up this time. I tried a new anti-nausea med made for chemo patients called Emend. I also think it had a lot to do with Julie taking really good care of me. She keeps track of stuff when I can’t and she knows my patterns. For instance, she kept me sleeping for 15 hours when we got home from chemo and I just slept through all the potential yuckiness of the first day. YAY JULIE! A home health nurse came on Thanksgiving and the next day to give me IV fluids and because I was well hydrated I did relatively well the first few days. It wasn’t until the 3d day that I really got hit with exhaustion and a case of gross THRUSH in my throat. OUCH. I thought I had strep (luckily not) and it was really hard to breath. It seems like I was feeling low a lot longer than the last chemo. My NP said that was normal when I went in for my blood draw the week after chemo. I asked if they were giving me too much!? She said no. I am getting a lot of chemo, but not enough to do me in. whew.

I made it though and I walked my 1/2 marathon this past Sunday. Probably not the SMARTEST thing to do, but it made me feel normal for a few hours. It is almost worth the pain to come across the finish line. I want to badly to come across the finish line of the cancer. I really do. I love the vitality of life that I have been able to enjoy the last 36 years. I am going to do all I can to get it back and keep on living, learning, loving and Growing…
but first I must put in some hard work… like doing Flash Dances and being really tired. It is nothing compared to some and so I say… BRING ON THE SWEAT!
I head to Utah on the 26th for a week with my Family. I will post videos and pics while I am there.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this so far. I love you so much. It means so much to me that you are willing to help me stay alive and feel more comfortable on this journey. You are truely wonderful ROboobians. :)
all my love~
ROCHELLE

rise up

2009-12-03T21:01:00.001-08:00

Chemotherapy Round 2: Adventures from the land of Roboobia!

2009-11-22T08:11:00.000-08:00

The last 15 days have been full of so much love and beauty. I want to start by thanking everyone who gave LOVE and time and money and support to the wonderful fundraiser, Boobapolooza! Thank you Ginger Leigh, Sanns Stevens, Carlotta Knapo, Wendy Colonna, Susanna Medrano and her family and many, many others who put everything together and stood in the rain selling food. It was amazing to see everyone work so hard to help me and I appreciate it so much. Forever won't be enough time for me to show my gratitude. Thank you for everyone who donated auction items and for all that bid on them. I was so tired and really beat from the 10 mile walk/run I had done that morning, but I felt lifted, whole and it was like my cancer started melting as I walked up the stairs to Momo's. The musicians were amazing. Thank you Thank you Thank you. It is such a relief to know I can focus on healing and be able to pay my medical bills with out worry. Not everyone gets to have this kind of healing process. I understand how lucky I am and how blessed. I promise to pay it forward for the rest of my life.

The Roboobian army is growing, green bands are every where. Thank you Jeanne and Tiffany and others for selling them and for everyone who has bought one in support of my journey and battle. I hope this band become a way to raise awareness and hope in the face of a disease that is touching so many of our lives. I want the Roboobians to remember good health, self care and the importance of building community when they think of my experience with breast cancer.

I have been busy the last 5 days working. It took a lot longer to recoup from this last round of chemo and my body is really feeling the effects. This time around I experienced many more hot flashes, fatigue and the nausea lasted a lot longer. The two days following chemo, I had to return to the oncology center for hydration. I had never felt so sick before. But, I made it though and I am feeling okay this week. There's a good chance the chemo will be accumulative and I will need to slow down my running and working. I have made adjustments in my schedule. It is only for a few months though. This will be a good time for me to take care of me and heal and be able to enjoy the days when I am not sick. which are becoming few and far between.

Thanksgiving will be bitter-sweet. Julie and Jeanne's mother Carolyn will be in town for her Turkey day visit. I and looking forward to spending time with family, but I might be wiped out on chemo for most of the time. I am trying a new medication for nausea this round so maybe a miracle will happen and I won't feel as sick. I would love to eat some turkey since I am eating meat theses days... oh well, save me some leftovers. :)

Okay...

Here are some pics of the last few weeks. I will try to update more often. Loving life, loving you, loving me and my health and the power of prayer.

Always,

Chemotherapy Round Two~ I had a chair by the window and it was a sunny day. I was loopy on my happy cocktail by this point and a little nervous about how I was going to feel later. This round I tried to make peace with the chemo drugs so I could focus on healing and melting cancer. Our good friends Cris and Claire gave me an article to read about the gift that cancer can be and the power of positive thinking in my HEALing process along with four important letters.

Julie and I got to spend some time with Ester and Jamal. Ester works with Julie and just bought a house near us. She gave me some chicken soup which has been a craving of mine since starting chemo and some beautiful Roses.

Our good friend Dori had shoulder surgery and we watched her cute lil doggies for the week. Here is a great pic of Julie, the dog Tree.

This is the beautiful Native Grass that I planted my hair in when all my friends cut it off. The sky chair is a great place to feed chickens. I love out yard.

Chemo Round One

2009-10-22T06:18:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday Oct 14th Julie and I headed to Texas Oncology for my first of six chemotherapy treatments. I will just be very honest here and say that I was scared to death of being there and not knowing what was going to happen to me.

The day started off with a visit from my Oncologist Dr. Hellerstedt whom I trust more and more each time we talk. We talked about my cancer and about getting rid of it and chemo and meds and side effects... then it was off to the infusion room. My nurse for the day was Derrik. He was very comforting and full of lots of information and offered some happy drugs to calm my nerves. :) After he accessed my port, things got easier and I was able to relax and I started the 3 super drugs. That took about 4 hours and I headed home with instructions to be very careful about what I ate and how I took care of myself. I thought I was going to be FINE.. so we headed to Fire Bowl Cafe and I got a big spicy peanut noodle bowl and took it home and ate it up and THAT was a bad idea.

A few hours later I was in the throws of nausea and my mind was spinning. I took a back up nausea pill and crashed. Chemo is my new boss.

Thursday I barely remember cause I felt really sick all day.

Friday I was feeling a bit better and I actually ate some *chicken noodle soup. I also went to work and did 2 massages. It was a good test to see how I would do.. and I realized that I was so tired and may not have the energy to do massage work during chemo week and I am going plan to not work those weeks and dedicate that time to healing myself. It is a hard thing for me to do... slow down the work but I am going to listen to my body and the messages that come with this journey.

Saturday my Mom got to town and after a month of only talking on the phone and on computer, it was really great to see her. Nothing like having your mom around when you don't feel good. She gave me lots of good energy and I was really starting to feel much better on Saturday night.

Sunday I ran the IBM 10k. It felt good to run and sweat out the chemo chemicals. I was really tired and sore for 2 days after. It has been a long 2 weeks and I had not run a lot, but it was worth it. I don't want to stop doing the things that make me feel victorious and normal.

Tuesday I had some friends over to help me shave my head. Each person cut a piece of my hair and then Julie and my friend Allie shaved it. It was fun and the love and energy that was in the room just filled my soul with healing and a sense of community. I am so blessed to have the amazing people that I do in my life. I learn so much from them and feel the love everyday. This journey although really scary and sometimes hard is so worth it. This cancer will be gone soon... but the love that rises up when friends and family gather to heal one another... it lasts FOREVER.

always in PEACE and LIGHT.

*Side note:

I was was going to try to stay vegan (no animal products) throughout this process, but when you aren't feeling great, you eat what tastes good. Chicken noodle soup tastes good. My goal is to eat as healthy as possible getting enough food to keep on weight and give me good energy.

Adventures with Food

2009-10-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

“We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink...”
— Epicurus

Sunset Valley Farmer's Market

The events of the last few months have caused me to rethink not just what I am eating... but HOW I am eating. When Julie and I were in Michigan, we ate three very healthy vegetarian meals a day for five days. It was delicious and nutritious. Not just because it was mostly veggies and whole grains... but because it was made with love. Each meal was thought out, prepared with safety and health in mind and it was prepared by an entire community of women for women. Lots of hands and hearts went into each meal's preparation and was celebrated and enjoyed by all.

Community dining has the potential to be a healing experience.When I sit down at a table full of friends and family, I get really see faces around me, the different shades of skin and hair and color of eyes, the facial expressions, the sounds coming from silverware and clinking dishes, laughter or the meter of story telling filling the room. It just feels right to eat together. When the food on your plate has been chopped and sliced and cooked or prepared by hands of people who love you, it feeds not only your body, but your soul. When pause in your day and you sit together with people you admire or trust or work with or love... you fuel your heart and your veins. I have found that dining with intention had enhanced my healing and my awareness of my body. I don't eat as quickly and I enjoy the experience as much as the food. That goes for preparing the meals as well. When I think about the beauty of the food I eat and work with color and texture, preparation becomes a meditation. I choose food that is healthier and more colorful rather than easier to make or comforting. I am starting to prepare for meals in advance and look forward to putting food on the plate for myself and others.

My Chemo starts this week and some of the side effects of this treatment include "tastes in food changing", Lack of appetite, metallic taste in mouth... gastro-intestinal issues and heart burn. This may or may not happen to me, but what I do know is that my respect and love for meals and gathering together with my chosen family of friends on a regular basis will not change because it it so vital to my healing process. This is one aspect of my treatment that I have total control over. So, let's pause in our day and take refuge in each others company, savoring the love we share and break bread together soon.

Love,

Today's morning smoothie (shared with Julie)

2 Frozen bannanas

one carrot

one apple

almond milk

almond butter

chunk of dark dark chocolate

agave nectar 1 tbsp

rice bran protein powder

Raw Greens supplement powder

love.

place all ingredients in vitamix and blend for 60 secs. Smile while pouring into 2 glasses. Enjoy sharing. Savor while drinking.

Imported.

2009-10-11T14:24:00.000-07:00

Here I am on Wednesday getting my tooth extracted. It is in the back, thank goodness. I was feeling pretty happy from the drugs they had me take and singing 'Jesus wants be for a Sunbeam'. That song NEVER leaves you once you learn it as a small innocent child... and it creeps back in at the weirdest moments. The staff at Endodontist were very entertained. Dr. McGuire was awesome and I am glad we took out that tooth. No worries now for infection during my chemo treatment. Maybe I will get a new tooth when all of this is over.

Back at home on my Roboobian Throne. Julie had me all comfy with ice for my face and my little dog Sage was keeping me nice and warm. There is the lump o love pillow my friend Lee gave me laying on my heart. I was soo out of it.

This is right after I got out of Surgery on Thursday. I had my Power Port put in. The staff at St. David's was amazing and I had no pain until I got home. Feeling pretty sore but better everyday. I feel like I could hook myself up to the matrix.

Saturday was the Mamma Jamma Bike Ride that raised money for 10 different central Texas Breast Cancer organizations. My friends organized a team earlier this year to ride in honor of our friend Claire who was diagnosed in January this year. It was a great day watching my friends really dig deep and ride it out for something that now means so much to me.

I start my chemo treatments this week. On Wednesday at 9:45. My heart carries peaceful feelings about my treatment plan right now. At times when I let myself worry too much about the future, I start to feel scared that is might not work or that I won't be able to handle it. But, deep down, I know I am going to be fine.

This morning, Julie and Jeanne's father passed away in California. We have been sitting in the quiet all day and I have been feeling gratitude for my parents and for the unique love that is shared between a parent and child. This is an interesting time for Julie and I as we go from focusing on becoming parents to healing cancer and then losing a parent all in a few months time. There are messages in these experiences. We will find them. One of them is surrender. It is easy for me to have an plan and to have an opinion... it is easy to do it my way. It is hard to let go and watch a plan unfold to keep my judgment to my self and allow my surrender to the bigger picture teach me who I am and why I am here. Here is to Alan Nielson "Big AL" wish I could have met you, but welcome your spirit into our lives forever as you have surrendered to the transition from struggle to peace. You were very much loved.

In love, healing, laughter and passion,

There is a Village!

2009-10-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

One thing I have always been blessed with in my life is a tribe. It hasn't always been the same tribe in the same place. Sometimes, it has been small and other times overflowing with special people in my life that I can take care of and that absolutely have taken care of me. I have always been grateful for this, and with this change in my life, I have really felt the force and power that collective love and support can create. I am deeply grateful for my tribe, my village and each of there talents and spirits. I am so honored to be a part of a beautiful collection of people. This is the first gift that the cancer has given me... the personal experience of having so much love and prayers sent in my direction. Very powerful and inspires me to do the same back... so there, cancer. :) And thank you so much for being a part of our village... even if I don't know you. We are all connected.

This last week has felt good. I haven't had anymore doctors appointments and my long time friend, Kory came to visit me. It was wonderful to share her with my life and friends here and to have fun and laugh a lot. I love seeing Austin through the eyes of someone who has never been here before. Sharing the Town Lake Trail and Barton Springs and my amazing friends here in the ATX with Kory helped me to renew my appreciation of the beautiful place that I have chosen to live. Thank you Kory for spending time with me! She will be traveling the world this next year and is a very interesting and wonderful person. Here blog will be posted on this blog soon so you can check out her adventures!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HEALTHY TIP

There is a song that I love to sing when any living things I love are sick or if I need a little immune boost myself... it goes like this.

Every little cell in my body is healthy,

Every little cell in my body is well.

I'm so glad, every single cell

Every single cell is healthy and well.

I am singing this song daily... try it out yourself and see if it doesn't help you feel better. :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things I am looking forward to...

Mom comes to visit on Oct. 17th
IBM 10k on Oct. 18th
Breast Cancer Awareness Event at W3LL on Oct 22, 2009
Shaving my head
Raw food eating and Juicing
Knitting and making Soup.

Lastly, here is a preview of this week's episode of RoRo's journey with modern medical science... muah haha

Monday I have to get a broken tooth fixed (finally) which means another crown.
Tuesday is my Chemo class. I am guessing I will learn all the ins and outs of Chemo Day.
Wednesday the 7th.Dental Surgery (I am terrified of this)
Thursday I will be recovering on my couch or in my sky chair or in my bed and drinking shakes from my vitamix and juice from my juicer cause... no chewing.
Friday I hope I am getting my Portacath placed in a vain in my chest... I have not heard back from surgeon's office... sigh.
Saturday Is the Mamma Jamma ride. I will be hanging out with Teams For Tits and Giggles... Cheering them on with love and gratitude. Breast Cancer research is so important. I don't want our daughters and their daughters to have to go through this.
Chemo starts on Oct. 14th 2009

I love you Roboobians! Thanks again for all of your support and love and interest in my journey. Here is to taking one day at a time and savoring all we have and love.

in peace and health,

Rochelle

Head, Shoulders, knees and toes.

2009-09-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

Greetings Roboobians!

Well, today was a very long day full of tests and more dental work. Before I get into that... I realize that I must first update about my visit with Dr. Hellerstedt. It was my first visit to Texas Oncology and it is a wonderful facility. Julie and I were able to spend at least an hour with her learning more about the cancer and her treatment plan for me. Here is the plan of attack!

1. Testing to make sure I am cleared of any other cancers or problems in my body. (that is what I did today)

2. Genetic testing and counseling to see if I have a "breast cancer gene". ( those come back in 2 weeks)

3. Chemotherapy to shrink the size of the tumor and treat the lymph nodes and body for any spreading. Here is the chemo regimen she wants to start me with:

Cytoxan, Adriamycin, Taxotere a lovely and powerful triple cocktail of cancer fighting ammo.
Given in 6 treatments: one every three weeks. That is 18 weeks of chemo time! Happy holidays.
Treatment begins on Wednesday October 14th.

4. Radiation (don't know too much about this.

5. Surgery ( the more cancer that is left behind the more complicated the surgery is what I understand)

6. Then I will be put on a Hormone therapy drug called Tamoxifen that keeps my particular cancer that is Estrogen Receptor positive from using the estrogen in my body to grow. I will be on this drug for 5 years.

That is the plan for now. Of course I will be monitored to see how well things are looking how fast the cancer is disappearing... CAUSE WE KNOW IT IS GOING TO MELT AWAY! And treatment can change as Dr. Hellerstedt learns more of how things are reacting to treatment.

So now I am gearing up for all of this by being healthy, getting baseline tests and dental work done and staying positive. My mom is coming on the 17th and I have a good friend coming to visit for some days this week. So, lots to look forward to. I had a wonderful gathering full of unending love and healing this last Saturday. The village of Roboobia is in full swing adding members everyday and I am so grateful for all of your generosity and support... kind words and time. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

This journey is teaching me so much... and it hasn't even been 2 weeks. I see each day as a new challenge and try to enjoy every person I crome in contact with and every test a new discovery of who I am on the inside. For instance, today I got to see my SKELETON and on Friday I got to see my HEART. I love the human body so much. SO... Bright Side moment... I am learning so much about my own and feel grateful that I am so healthy in every way and that makes me stronger to beat this cancer.

Peace and Health!

Ro of Roboobia

Positive, Negitive... balance me out.

2009-09-22T19:06:00.000-07:00

Today seemed to be what we were waiting for, but we didn't get any huge news. Julie and I had done a lot of research about the pathology report and knew most of what the surgeon said to us. The surgeon is referring me to an oncologist (Dr. Hellerstedt) at Texas Oncology . I should be meeting with her in the next week hopefully. I have heard great things about her and the oncology center in general.

Here is what I know about the cancer in my body so far:

IDC~ Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in my left breast only
HER/2 neg (this means it is not a rapidly growing and aggressive cancer)
ER and PR positive (the cancer cells have hormone receptors that can be blocked with a medication to slow the growth)
It is larger than 5 cm in diamater
We do not know if it has spread to my lymph nodes yet. That can only be tested with further surgery that I will get most likely have after treatment (chemo)

Here are the things I am doing on my end to stay sane and feel some sense of control. Those of you who know me, know that I like to feel in control. lol So here's my strategy for myself.

90 percent vegan diet with a high amount of RAW and GREEN food. Keeping my body alkaline and eliminating processed foods.
Excersise and RUNNING
KEEP WORKING
Naturopathic medine and Acupucture and Massage
process my thoughts and feelings daily
Believe and focus on the journey
Meditate
Relax
Smile
Reach out to friends and family and let them help me.
Enjoy everyday to it's fullest
Cry when I can and need to.
Visualize Cancer leaving my body whenever I can.
Love deeply
Help others by sharing this Journey and creating awareness.

I have chosen these methods of treatment and paths of healing for now. My army includes Me, My Partner in Life, My Family, Friends, Experienced Medical Professionals, Healers and Mother Earth. I think so far I have put together a good plan for beating this!

Thank you to everyone for your love and prayers. I can feel it every minute of everyday. Sometimes I wonder how I get out of bed in the morning, then I think of the beautiful support system I have in place. So many wonderful people from all parts of my life reaching out. I am forever grateful for your support. In addition, thank you to those of you who have donated to team For Tit's and Giggles. My heart is so full!

I will keep everyone updated here on a regular basis... stay tuned for information on my next steps of the journey...

Updating my Dental work to prevent any problems that might arise during chemo
Genetic testing or BRAC test
Port a cath

That is all for tonight.
Peace and Sweet Dreams.
RO

2009-09-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

harnessing the energy from the land.

a picture

2009-09-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

Getting ready for the PEM scan.

New Breast Cancer Scan Cuts False Alarms

2009-09-19T05:30:00.001-07:00

I really like this article about the accuracy of PEM scan.

New Breast Cancer Scan Cuts False Alarms

Shared via AddThis

Breast Cancer Battle. Grow fight win.

2009-09-19T05:21:00.000-07:00

What a week it has been. I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Wednesday September 16th. How lucky am I to have amazing friends, peers and family. Everyone rallied round and created a village of healing for me to rest my fear and doubt. I know this is only going to make me stronger and I am ready to take it on because I know I have the love of everyone backing me up.

This blog will be my journal...my updates, my side of the story, my honesty and the nitty gritty of this journey.

Friday was a hard day. I had a PEM test. It will help determine what the cancer is doing. I had to get an IV (which I can't stand) and then they shot me up with radioactive isotopes and I was alone in the room for an hour while I "uptook" this stuff into my blood stream. Why alone? because I was dangerous to others. It was the first time I had been alone since the diagnosis and I just laid there and cried as I thought about all the medical stuff that was to come. It felt good to cry as I hadn't really cried about it until that point. It would have been worth it if I glowed in the dark for a few days... but alas, no cryptonite effects. :( Then they gave me a super mammogram from HELL. We are talking 10 min to take one pic. I had to do that 4 times. Anyway when it was all over, I was tired and sore and left the office with a bag full of goodies from the Breast Cancer Resource Center. This is an amazing organization. They gave me some very valuable tools to use in my navigation of what is going on with me.

Officially a cancer patient. I had a few bitter moments and then looked my beautiful partner sitting next to me, her eyes brimming with tears and I knew everything was going to be okay. I am going to fight this shit and win. I have the best support system a person could ask for. In one day my friends raised a total of 1000 dollars for 2 different fund raising events. That right there is worth this battle... if only I raise awareness about this and help encourage others to help others.

I spent Sunday "watching" football and researching how to read my biopsy results.The results show really good findings. No major tumors. Not a fast growing cancer. Hormone receptor positive and my PEM scan came back just as they expected with no more spreading than they thought. There is so much education on the internet about breast cancer from support groups to treatments and research. Good but a bit overwhelming. Today, I have really needed to clear my mind think about what is really important to me in this chapter of my life.

It is now Monday and I am looking forward to getting back to work on Wednesday and enjoying taking care of my clients. I will really need to keep working! So, if you are a client just remember that I will be taking very good care of myself and have promised to work when I can and rest when I can't. But keep the referrals coming and keep coming back. :)

peace and love!
ro

2009-09-12T07:57:00.000-07:00

In July 2009 I found a suspicious symptom (abnormal discharge) in my left breast so when I got home from Michigan in August, I made an appointment to get an annual exam done. Everything seemed normal everywhere else in my body... but she recommended that I get a diagnostic mammogram to check out the symptom in my breast. So, a week later, I had the mammogram done. While we were there nurse came to talk to Julie and I in the waiting room and she said that they suggested due to calcification in my upper left quadrant of my left breast, I need to get a BIOPSY. WTF???

As you can imagine, I wanted more info and a second opinion. I went to see a surgeon on September 10th 2009 and she was pretty serious about the mammogram results saying that she didn't like how much calcification was there and how large the area was, that it is only on one side and that I am young with no children. I sat there calmly after asking many questions and trying to find a way out of a biopsy through conclusions and self diagnosis' I had convinced myself made complete and total medical sense.

It didn't work and reality set in that I was on this path leading me to a test for cancer and there was no turning back. The surgeon was concerned and very sober and serious about everything she said to us. Julie and I looked at the mammography films together and I saw them. All the little white specks that were in my milk ducts obviously causing some irritation and sending signals. It calmed me down to have a picture of what was going on in there. Then I thought about needles going into my soft and tender boobie and I almost passed out. I have never had stitches or broken bones or serious illness. I did have a few moles removed a long time ago but my goodness... needles in my boobie. ugh.

So now I wait until Tuesday. I am hoping for the best, preparing for the worst and eating well, sleeping, singing, dancing though my days... trusting I have all I need!

2009-09-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

Ancient herb and seed
full of nutritious power
popping in my mouth

Amaranth Morning Grool

2 cups water
1 cup coconut water/milk or rice or almond milk
1 cup amaranth seed/grain
1/4 cup chopped nuts
4-5 prunes diced
1/2-3/4 cup frozen or fresh fruit
1 teaspoon molasses or 1 tablespoon of natural sugar or honey

In a medium saucepan bring water and "milk" to boil and add amaranth. Stir for a minute or so and reduce heat to low. Let cook stirring occasionally for 18-20 min or until thick but not gummy. Remove from heat and add fruit, prunes, nuts and sweetener and cover for 5 min. Stir well before serving. Give thanks and eat with some teechino. FEEL THE POWER.

breakfast smoothie style

2009-09-08T08:07:00.000-07:00

rice milk
banana
fresh strawberries
fresh ground almond butter
molasses
5 fresh blackberries

Gone are the days

2009-09-08T06:53:00.000-07:00

of wine with dinner,
tomorrow is a day full of vibrant sober awareness.
Gone are the dairy cravings,
my next meal is covered in crunchy sprouts.
All those toxins can stay at the store.
local gardens will come through my door.
My body does not require the meat of animals,
they have a purpose and it is separate from mine.

Gone are the moments of feeling dis connected dis satisfied dis comfort in my body and mind... I am ready to become apart of my world.

commit

2009-08-31T12:55:00.000-07:00

older myspace blogs moved here

2009-04-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

Thursday, March 27, 2008

gardens of love
Current mood: triumphant
Category: Life

mmmmmm I love to stretch! There are pots full of flower and herbs scattering our yard and an empty garden bed waiting to be filled with yummy dirt. (julie, you amaze me) you are gonna get that massage... and soon! There are little seedlings on the deck waiting to stretch their tender and seeking roots into more expansive earth. They remind me of little ideas that will so grow into big thoughts, plans and if cared for well and monitored everyday... they magically produce fruit. BUT... Like myself, when my dreams are neglected they surely wilt and die as will these tomatoes if I don’t pay them enough attention. I did that once in a relationship I was in. I neglected to give daily care and attention to our dreams and my needs and sure enough one day I woke up to a marriage that was wilting and dead in some places. I felt horribly guilty and scared that it was impossible to fix so I walked away. Ironically, I had a garden growing in the backyard that was doing pretty good. duh. Anyway, I am writing about this now because I came home last night and there was a garden bed built for me by my partner. She loves me so much and knows how important this is to me. When I saw the empty bed waiting for my love to fill it up, it hit me... here is another chance to really be a good gardener AND a good partner. Sure, it scared me a little... it is kinda freaky that 3 years ago, I was sitting in another garden celebrating our birthdays with wonderfully amazing friends and my partner at the time who is one of the greatest people I will ever know. Then I left it, and I really want to trust myself this time. I guess there is a little part of me that is hanging on to the belief that I don’t really deserve this... I am working on that. The past wasn’t meant to be as planned, obviously I am here in the now... but I will always remember my first tomatoes... I will put the things I have learned about myself behind the work I do in this garden and in my relationship like fertilizer. I acknowledge the fact that I have another person here in my life and our relationship requires my patience and unconditional love. Nature in all it’s power has so many simple lessons for us. I just thought I would share my one that I learned with you. It will be wonderful to be in this space with the people I am getting to know here. I am not going anywhere this time.... i have learned about the power of embryonic stem-root saving research and I have to stick around for the mystery tomatoes... thanks to julie. She always has me on my toes. SAVE THE TOMATOES! peace and flowers, ro

Currently listening:
Steer
By Missy Higgins
Release date: 30 April, 2007

10:50

1 Comments

(Add Comment) |

2 Kudos

Translate

Edit

Remove

Sunday, March 23, 2008

my heart is here
Current mood: imaginative

Edie Carey says it best in this beautiful song...
..tr>

I’m not gonna lie to you
I don’t know what I’m doing
Even after all these years I’m lost
I’m not gonna lie to you
I’m a little bit crazy
I try to keep my head on straight
It’s always a little bit off

But my heart feels right for the first time

You stay in one place too long
You become a target
Look at how I live my life always gone
But when it comes to me and you
I’m a little bit lazy
After all this running
I’m happy, happy just to stop

Cuz my heart feels right for the first time
In my life
My heart feels right for the first time
For the first time

So I’m just gonna stay right here
Just to see what happens
Funny how hard it is
To keep still
Long enough to let love in
No matter how you fight her
She’ll always be the smartest
You don’t think she’ll get you
But she will, she will

My heart feels right for the first time
In my life
My heart feels right for the first time
For the first time

Monday, February 18, 2008

Abundant sunshine!
Current mood: jedi
Category: Life

Today was my day off. I had it under a perfectly blue Texas sized sky. Lucky me! I had a latte, a much needed pedicure (first of the year), lunch at uncle billy's and a stroll through book people where I bought CUNT by Inga Musico for bookclub. Then I took my perfectly painted piggies and ran 4 miles without stopping or wanting to for that matter (this is a record for me). I can't wait to run the Capitol 10k on March 30 and maybe run a half marathon in San Antonio in November. This is the year of motivating myself. I am learning that I accomplish my goals better and faster when I do them for me!
Also, I have decided (finally) to vote for Hillary Clinton. I am doing that for more than just me though!
Today's weather report said ABUNDANT SUNSHINE! spot on.

Ro

Monday, October 29, 2007

soup

Hello friends.

The winds of change are upon us. As we enter the season of passing we learn from the trees that the joyful lights and vibrant greens of summer have muted into the orange and crimson red of dying leaves. October's pregnant harvest moon hangs in the sky close to the earth giving extra light to balance the disappearing day. The musky smell from the ground is natures call to the little creatures that will hide away until spring.

This Chicken Little is heading to the kitchen to make soup, share it with the ones I love and reminisce on the achievements and growth of summer. Summer is growth. So much has happened in my life this year, lots of movement that has left me feeling powerful and strong. Within the last few months I have stretched the boundaries of my heart and physical body to beautiful places.

I love making soup, especially with friends… It is a meditation I have used to enhance the chilly fall evenings for the last few years. Come celebrate fall with us… bring a bottle of wine, your favorite veggies and log for the fire and we can go into hibernation together.

Love and peace to your beautiful hearts,

Thursday, August 02, 2007

ukeleilis and halter tops
Current mood: sore
Category: Travel and Places

Tomorrow the twins and I take off to our tropical VACATION! Julie was meandering through google looking for massage therapists. You know, cause some people like to get massage when on VACATION. It is so hard to imagine me, in Hawaii, on a massage table falling into the ZONE> ahhhhhh. okay, it's not that hard. It is a great feeling to know that I have been working (my ass off) diligently establishing my life here in Austin the past 9 months. I deserve to relax... and I and gonna... cause I am going on VACATION> mmmmhmmmm
Props to my good friend Mary. She is here in Austin with me now and I LOVE IT. Thanks for watching the dogs for the Twinplex while we are gone. I am happy for you... holla.
I am finally focusing more on the day to day life and the little challenges that poke their heads into my life (wack a mole came into my mind just now)... instead of my big transition. It is giving me the strength to focus on the paths of others. I am fortunate to have strong people in my life lighting the way by sharing the stories of life.
ooo i gotta go learn the hula hula... okay bye now... a bubye....
stay tuned for pic postings of my white self all sunburned like lobster.
ma' hollla!!!
ro

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

New this, new that... a little catch up and mustard.
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

My career is taking off! I am working at at The Hills Fitness Club. It is really great. I love the environment, the people I work for and my clients are amazing. Check them out. You can call them to schedule a massage with me as well.

www.thehillsfitness.com

I recently moved in with my girlfriend, Julie. We have been together since the beginning of the year. It has been fun weaving our lives together. She is an amazing woman with lots of spirit and love. Lucky me. My life is full of incredible women... it always has been, but I finally feel like I am home.

This year I have been doing a lot of things for my personal development. (I am so damn cheesy) I start on Wednesday with a personal trainer at The Hills. Gotta get ready for the revolution. Also I am taking voice lessons from the AMAZING Lisa Richards. Wonderful musician and beautiful soul. Singing is really good therapy for me. I don't what kind of therapy listening to my singing would be... but, I will sing anytime for anyone. And best of all I am going to Hawaii...Kauai to be specific. First tropical vaca ever for me. I CAN'T WAIT.

Sage (my little dog) is good to. We are happy and healthy and missing and loving all our friends wherever you are.

LOVE,
Ro

St. Louis

2008-09-18T20:16:00.000-07:00

overlooking the mississippi, something old then now something new my borrowed heart bleeds shades of blue. dear old city i come to see you.

if I run

2008-09-11T06:02:00.000-07:00

there will be movement
and freedom.
energy will move.
and... if I keep running, there
will be a finish
line.

reboot

2008-09-08T06:29:00.000-07:00

Some files need deleting today
soul's mainframe hot and tired
control
Alt
Delete
rest
water
dirt
sleep
rain
earth.
Breathe.

Summer

2008-09-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

Before waking
summer let down her hair
for a moment allowing
dehydrated breezes
to pass through
morning time.

the movement

2008-09-02T05:21:00.000-07:00

The path you inner stillness or Being starts with not thinking.

Quote:

Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don't realize this because almost everyone is suffering from it, so it is considered normal. This incessant mental noise prevents you from finding that realm of inner stillness that is inseparable from Being.
~ Eckhart Tolle